Embracing the Realities of Parenting: Redefining Mom Guilt with Love

mom guilt

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“Mom guilt” is a name given to the feelings of guilt and shame some mothers feel when they don’t live up to their own or others’ expectations in their role as a mom.

“Mom guilt” is a name given to the feelings of guilt and shame some mothers feel when they don't live up to their own or others' expectations in their role as moms. Share on X

I’m sitting here in the “mom feels” with the all too familiar “mom guilt” rearing its ugly head.

You see, I often try to post upbeat and happy things, fun things to do with our kids, crafts, homeschool advice, family activities, and so on. But, it’s not always rainbows and cupcakes with delicious frosting. (although that might help)

Sometimes, it’s tears, sadness, and frustration

A lot of us tend to hide it, but sometimes, it’s really freakin’ hard. Sometimes I’m doing laundry with tears running down my face. Questions are rolling around in my head… Am I doing my best? Will my daughter be okay? Am I doing everything I can to help her become the best she can be? Am I doing too much?

And then, after a good cry and maybe a large scoop of mint chocolate chip ice cream, I wash my face and finish the laundry.

Because,

while sometimes it’s hard, sometimes it’s frustrating, and sometimes it hurts (a lot), I know that I am doing my very best. Because, at the end of the day, my daughter is snuggled in a warm bed with her stuffies and her unicorn onesie on. And she looks up at me and says “Mommy, I love you so much! Thank you for all the fun things we did today!”. All the sadness, frustration, and stress are worth it because she is healthy and happy. And, as parents that is all we can truly hope for our children.

So,

I guess the reason for this post is to let you know that, yes it’s going to be hard, frustrating, and stressful, but your children are doing great and that is because YOU are a great mom!

We will always struggle with “mom guilt”, it’s a sad fact of our lives. To make it a little easier…

Here are just a few tips on managing “mom guilt”:

Acknowledge and Accept: Recognize that mom guilt is a common emotion and it’s okay to feel it. Accept that it’s a part of the parenting journey.
Set Realistic Expectations: Understand that no one is a perfect parent. Set achievable goals and expectations for yourself, considering your circumstances and capabilities.
Prioritize Self-Care: Take time for self-care without feeling guilty. Whether it’s a short break, a hobby, or just relaxation, caring for yourself makes you better equipped to care for others.
Focus on Quality, Not Quantity: Instead of dwelling on the time spent away from your child, focus on the quality of the time you spend together. Make those moments meaningful.
Seek Support: Share your feelings with friends, family, or a support group. Sometimes talking about mom guilt can help alleviate the burden and provide valuable perspectives.
Learn to Say No: Understand your limits and don’t overcommit. It’s okay to say no to additional responsibilities if it means preserving your well-being and family time.
Reflect on Achievements: Regularly reflect on your parenting achievements and the positive impact you have on your child’s life. Celebrate the small victories and remind yourself of your capabilities.
Embrace Imperfections: Understand that mistakes are a part of parenting. Embrace your imperfections, learn from them, and use them as opportunities for growth.

Create Rituals of Connection: Establish regular routines or rituals that create strong connections with your child. This can help alleviate guilt by fostering a sense of stability and love within your relationship.